Our STorY So Far

One day I received a Singing Telegram. (Actually, a wildly-buxom Stripper-Gram.)


The message was:


"COME QUICK, I AM DYING 
- LOVE, 
YOUR OLD UNCLE GODFREY"


And so it came to pass, that I learned - I had an Uncle Godfrey.


I raced to the hospital, and a nurse ushered me in...


I sat at his bedside, every day and every night, for the next 52 years.


Mainly because, Uncle Godfrey told me I was his SOLE HEIR... 
And frankly, I wanted his stash.
Good ole Uncle Godfrey was loaded. 
...I was broke.
(What's wrong with this picture?! HELLOOO?!)


So of course, I soon tried to kill him, in countless ways...


- secretly unplugging his heart-monitor-thingy, when no-one was watching...
- spiking his drip with battery-acid (dipped in arsenic)
- trying to smother him with a pillow, while he slept (which was a LOT)


...you name it, I tried it...
*SIGH*
Stupid old bugger.
Sure was tough, though...
...Damn.


Anyways - here are a selection of all the bullsh*t stories he told me, as he lay dying...




...Enjoy!


(Or, not.)




N. Nyamed Nyr8tor